The men who do nothing have a wizard hat

15 sentences that men say - and what they actually mean by that ... How well do you speak “man”?

Men are direct. That applies at least as long as everything runs smoothly. But as soon as they fear being caught off guard by possible anger, they begin to get vague, indirect, and vague. There is seldom bad intent behind this, but rather the desire for a harmonious relationship.

Nevertheless, it is good to take a closer look at some typical male sentences. Because women misinterpret some male statements and misunderstandings arise. If we translate the foreign language “man”, it becomes clear what a man actually wants to say.

1. "Yes, honey, I'll do ..."

Bringing down garbage, driving away old glass or putting in the dishwasher. If men "I will…" say, that doesn't mean "immediately". Who said something about "now immediately" !?

For a man, tasks mean projects that he work through according to his own list of priorities. If you ask him after 10 minutes why he still hasn't turned on the washing machine, he will be irritated because this project is still in the planning stage.

Tip: be patient!

2. "It's nothing, honestly!"

If you ask a man, “Honey, what's going on !?” he senses danger. If he utters more than five words, it means for him: It will be a long evening with a lot of unnecessary discussion. His answer "Nothing" means translated: "Please leave me alone today, tomorrow it may be possible again."

Men too have phases when the world seems to turn against them. Be it because a man has discovered the first gray hair on himself, has lost his football club, the favorite shirt is in the wash or the battery of the razor is lame.

Tip: One thing helps here - a little understanding!

3. "Of course I listen to you!"

Guaranteed - he just wasn't listening. "I listen to you" is also a typical argument avoidance phrase, it is supposed to soothe you. Because man wants his rest or sex. Arguing means anger, anger does not mean rest and most of all, definitely no sex.

Listening is not necessarily one of the male strengths, he knows that. And he secretly hopes that you will take the number of the good listener from him so that you will skip a scene.

Tip: He wants to please you, otherwise he wouldn't go out of his way to listen to you. At the same time, his concentration drifts away in conversation, which can have various reasons, such as a strenuous day at work. Address your observation openly and appreciatively: “Honey, I feel like it's been a busy day for you. I really appreciate that you want to listen to me. Are you still ready or should we talk about it tomorrow? "

4. "Not now, later"

If a man "Not now" says he is speculating on your forgetfulness. "Not now" means in other words: "I am uncomfortable or annoying, please leave me alone!"

Tip: Depending on how badly you get goose bumps on your heart if you postpone the request - let yourself be breathed a little first. Still, don't ignore them and stick with them. This means that men too can learn that repression only works for a short time and that problems do not simply magically disappear. The key word for women is: time, patience and a lot of tact.

5. "I just have to briefly on the computer ..."

The PC, or rather the study, is the man's modern den. He needs retreat like air to breathe. There the modern man is allowed to hunt electronic mammoths with his boys. He can grunt freely and without restriction in the presence of real men who look more like a gorilla than a human. And best of all: he doesn't have toCan't you behave yourself? " but earns huge applause and cheers from the other real guys when they suffer a hearing loss from a burp. This is manly! At least a man feels masculine among men, and this feeling is important and necessary for mental equilibrium.

Even if this behavior is completely incomprehensible to women, he feels right at home. And as it is - time flies when we do something we are comfortable with. Behind one "short" and then an hour or more, there is seldom a bad intention, for him the perceived sense of time is short.

Tip: set fixed times. Maybe you can find one night a week when he can have his network party with his boys and you go around the houses with a friend. In a relationship, too, it is important to give each other enough freedom in addition to what they have in common.

6. "It made me feel sick as a child."

What is meant here is your freshly squeezed carrot, ginger and beetroot juice, which you think is so tasty and healthy. His tongue gets violent rashes at the thought of being washed around by this culinary delight. And man actually want to say:

“I don't care if these greens are healthier than a steak. I'll die anyway, a few years earlier, but at least then I lived and had fun doing it. "

This sentence, however, could trigger a wave of discussion. Men don't feel like doing that. Man prefers to reach into the bag of tricks and conjure up a sentence for the female caring instinct that generates pure understanding.

Perfect! All good!

7. "A thunderstorm is approaching ..."

Surely before you said that you suggested going for a walk or visiting Aunt Siglinde !? When a man senses a storm, it's rarely because of his instinct, but rather because he doesn't feel like going for a walk or visiting people.

An excuse is better than having to justify yourself, at least from the man's point of view.

Tip: Leave him at home and go out on your own. Otherwise, the mini cloud in the sky can develop into a thunderstorm in the form of a dispute in a matter of minutes.

8. "I am currently not looking for a steady relationship."

You should be careful with this sentence. He doesn't want to hurt you, because his heart is either still attached to the ex or he is only interested in the most beautiful thing in the world: sex. Either way, he wants it without obligation - the word "relationship" awakens in him a strong instinct to flee.

Tip: If you just want to have fun yourself, enjoy togetherness with him. But if you envision a serious relationship with this man, it is better to offer him the "goodbye".

9. "Can I give you my number?"

When a man wants to give you his number, he is clearly showing interest. He puts himself trustingly in your hands, because after all you could annoy him too, but he accepts that as a pleasant "risk". However, he leaves the initiative to you by contacting him. There is some arrogance involved because he assumes you will get in touch.

10. "I'll get in touch with you."

Successful men have busy schedules. However, if that's his excuse not to contact you, he'll just change his priorities. Because a man is never too busy to conquer what he desires - no matter how busy his schedule seems.

"I'll get in touch ...", sounds nice at first, but that's about it. The spark has not (yet) jumped over. If he now disappears, never to be seen again, he will at least give you space for the true dream prince.

11. "I like you very much!" Or "I love you!"

Here Cupid shot his arrows - right in the heart, because both sentences are of great importance from a man's point of view. He opens carefully to confess his love and at the same time tests how you will react to it and whether you feel the same about him.

12. "I love you!"

This sentence should always be seen in context, because when this confession of love slips over his lips during sex, he often means that he loves your body and what you are doing with it at the moment. In a committed relationship, on the other hand, is to be "I love you!" also meant in the same way, he loves you!

13. "Can I help you?"

Here, the will counts, because the question is meant honestly. He wants to make himself useful and support you. It may be that he is secretly hoping that you will return the favor and allow him to finally do something with his boys again or he is so nice because he likes possible accusations "lazy dog" suspects.

But it is also possible, if he wants to help you with cooking, for example, to make his stomach growl. Cooking together is faster and fun.

Tip: Please pay attention to your own reaction here, because if he gets the feeling that his help is insignificant to you, he will gradually withdraw and possibly no longer offer his help at all.

14. "Take the dress!"

Translated means: "I finally want to go home!"

Tip: Shopping with a friend is often more relaxed and he can stay at home.

15. "I'm sleeping on the couch today - to love you"

With this sentence the alarm bells should ring for you, because no man willingly vacates the cozy nest warmth of the marriage bed. If a man, contrary to his nature, abandons this comfort, he will withhold something from you so as not to hurt you.

Do you snore? Or do you bother him with your constant turning around? Do you talk in your sleep? Or do you regularly wake him up in his nocturnal rest because you are afraid of dangerous spiders or have heard the intruder at the door for the 10th time?

Only one thing helps here: An open conversation, during which you shouldn't be angry - no matter what the outcome.

Sincerely, your Ulrike Fuchs
Couple counselor and alternative practitioner for psychotherapy

Make an appointment now!

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Important NOTE:
The texts on www.muenchen-heilpraktiker-psychotherapie.de were created with care and serve informal purposes. The content is in no way intended to induce you to discontinue medical treatment, to make a self-diagnosis, to undertake a treatment yourself or to avoid a doctor's visit. On the contrary: The information given here is in no way a substitute for professional medical advice, support and treatment.

Photo: Christian Kasper photographer Munich
Editing: Friederike Klingholz Munich
Graphics: Ulrike Fuchs Munich

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