What do Scottish wear under kilts

What does the Scot have under his kilt?

It's hard to talk about anything other than beautiful scenery, whiskey, beer and deep fried Mars bars when it comes to Scotland. They're just too much fun. But today you're lucky, I'm shaking something out of my kilt. Unfortunately not a bearded Highlander screaming “Freedom!”, But at least a hot and yet airy topic.

The kilt

Actually, dark clouds should come up now, accompanied by a mighty rumble of thunder or dark bagpipes to emphasize the seriousness and sexiness of this topic.

The kilt - no scrap of fabric on earth spreads so many reddened cheeks and bliss as this masculine, airy and much more stylish alternative to 7/8 shorts.

This story demands a lot from me, staying focused is not that easy, but I am professional and will not let tough, hairy, well-formed man's calves in scratchy sheep's wool socks get in the way of tough facts. First fact: only men wear kilts. Exclusively. ... and school children in uniform, tasteless tourists and, in some tragic cases, dogs too.

The kilt was / is an approx. 8m long, thick cotton fabric that already existed with the first Scots. At first it was woven from raw sheep's wool. When hiking, it was used as a tent, as a warming blanket and as protection from wind and weather. It was wrapped around the waist and left shoulder and tied with an English rib. - Rubbish, rather a very thick needle about 15cm in size, which was also used to roast the eyeballs of English people. But that's just a guess.


The kilt is now pre-wrapped and closed with an invisible belt buckle hidden under the thick fabric. I've never closed a kilt myself, but opening it is surprisingly quick.

A kilt weighs around 5kg, which is essential, because Scotland has wind and weather, and nobody wants to experience a Scottish Marilyn McMonroe. Not even me Nobody needs such surprises.

In order to keep the wrapped material in place even more, a gym bag, made of leather and pretty decorations, hangs in front of the whole manhood. Man can pack what he wants in it; a male lip balm, snuff, hip flask, everything is possible for the practical and male "Sporran". That's what it's called, the manliest bag of all time.

Now I hear you outraged, “And where are the weapons going?” And I tell you indignantly, “In your sock or in my hands!”.

The knife, the 'Sgian dubh', is inserted into the right sock. Because every Scottish man needs a knife before he goes to his cousin's wedding reception or to graduation.

You may have noticed that the kilt is differently patterned and colored. That's the tartan.

Each clan has its own checkered pattern. This is of course a very charming way of recognizing the family over and over again. As important today as it was in the past. Especially at the cousin's wedding.

Yes and? What do you think? What is the Scot wearing under the kilt? Lipstick on good days? No no.

Back when the manliest of all men went into battle in their wrapped blankets, the heavy material prevented them from fighting sensibly. It got caught in English swords and rapiers.

Everything was messed up and a fiddling and fiddling with all that stuff and so you went straight into the battles, which of course adequately underlined the urge for freedom.

That and only that is the answer, why Scots don't wear panties under their kilts. Quasi a memory of nudity, remembering the lost souls who defended their land to the flesh.

This essential nudity has gone down the drain over the centuries. Now the Briton himself wears swimming trunks in the sauna. I think we should blame Margaret Thatcher for this, but without getting political.

The kilt is the traditional garment and, as in all beautiful countries of the world with its own costume, is a symbol and is worn with pride.

Certainly you can also buy a kilt for £ 29.99 and wander around the carnival like a lousy clown, but you end up in the costume hell, where you plan the feet off the clan fathers. After all, a bit better than blowing the snuff into the nose of the Bavarian forefathers, because you bought paper lederhosen for € 35.99.

Be true, stay real and leave the costume to those who wear it with dignity and pride, because the costumes carry stories full of dignity and pride.

You can read everything about the kilt and other funny stories in "What’s under the kilt?" By Robin Mitchell * - The Cadies and Witchery Tours.


about the author
Nicola, who grew up in Edinburgh and Munich, studied Scottish history and worked for The Witchery Tours as the official storyteller and frightener (the first and only woman) where she terrified and terrified many tourists.

Her family is still in Edinburgh and is no longer frightened.

*Verified purchase recommendation with a provisioned partner link.